Wanting an Antidote For Worry, Try These Three Simple Strategies

No matter how positive you may be or how much you try to think positive, let’s face it, at times we all need to find an antidote for worry. While I consider myself to be a positive person, extreme circumstances test my ability to resist the pull to fixate on my personal worries and fears. Multiple hurricanes, losing loved ones to cancer and now the Coronavirus pandemic are some of the things that have tested me over last 15 years.

In 2004, we had just moved to Florida only to be welcomed 3 months later by Francis and Jeanne – two category 3 hurricanes hit us directly 3 weeks apart. My husband’s new tour business was dead in the water before it could even get started while I was still figuring out how to run my business from Florida. In 2008 my husband’s business was finally just getting going, but I was the primary breadwinner. We watched the income from my successful consulting practice evaporate. And now the Coronavirus has cancelled all work for my husband in his busiest time of year and has affected my business as well. For me this pandemic kind of feels like a cross between awaiting a potential Category 5 hurricane that is moving painfully slowly toward us and with no option to evacuate, and the 2008 financial meltdown all at once.

When things started to shut down a few weeks ago I noticed I was unusually tired. I didn’t even feel stressed – it was just more of a dazed and confused kind of feeling that was hard to shake. But in drawing on lessons learned from my time since moving to Florida, I have been using the same strategies that have helped me in the past and I am grateful for how well they are working now for both me and my clients. Of course, I still have some challenging days. But in those moments when the worry tries to take over I am finding I am able to quickly shift my focus to one that empowers me in the moment. It just takes intention and practice.

Three Antidotes to Worry and Fear that Can Work for You, too.

Strategy 1 – Choose A Focus that Empowers You

Focus on a Possibility for Your Future

If the future you are focused on is filled with what if’s…what if I lose my job, what if me or someone I love gets sick, what if <fill in the blank with your worst fears>, I can pretty much guarantee worry will overtake your mood and your energy. Of course, if any of those “what if’s” become reality you will have to deal with them, but until they happen they are just a possibility. But I’ll suggest that any possibility you invent for your future could be just as probable, so why not choose one that empowers you?

For example, I originally wrote an article with this title in October of 2009- it was one of my earliest blog posts. That was the year I started the Random Acts of Leadership blog. I had been wanting to figure out what I had to say about leadership for some time, but I never seemed to make the time to just think.

So in the absence of paid work and the limited prospects given the economy in 2009, I chose to focus on becoming a thought leader in leadership turning that nice idea into a BHAG (a big hairy audacious goal). Every day I would get up and write. And when I was writing I was living in a world of curiosity and discovery. The mood and energy from my writing carried over into everything I was doing. And when worry would grip me I would turn my attention to writing, not as an escape, but rather as a conscious way to shift my focus to the future. I would not be where I am in my work or my business without the work I began on Random Acts of Leadership back then. The imagined future of me, someone who was completely unknown in the world, becoming a thought leader in leadership actually became a reality.

Focus on What You Can Do Right Now

Back in 2009, I had shared in that original article how I drew some inspiration from a strange place – an episode of Grey’s Anatomy. One particular scene had me realize that what I needed to start doing is focus on what I can do right now – something within my control.

I developed a strategy to narrow my focus so I had only a few things in front of me to keep my attention on. Specifically I choose 3 things I would do each day that moved me towards my goals. That practice continues to help me now because it ensures I accomplish something that matters each day. The satisfaction of progress and accomplishment from focusing on a small number of important things gives me positive energy.

So here’s the scene that sparked the idea…

Seatle Grace hospital has just announced their first round of layoffs. The episode shows people’s reaction. You witness snippets of people experiencing the various stages of loss, and the fear in those left regarding the fate of their own future. When will the next layoff be? Will it be me? Will it be my friends? How can I protect myself?

A few of the more seasoned doctors take their spouses/girlfriends – younger doctors who are reeling from watching their colleagues get fired and battling their own fears about their future – to the ball field at night. And in that last scene, they dispense what I think is some brilliant advice.

In the final scene…

Christina, the most arrogant of the bunch, is particularly freaked out. They force a bat into her hand and while she is resisting they simply hurl a fast ball at her. It shakes her up. And the advice she is given by a former combat surgeon is this:

You need to stop thinking about what is going to happen. You need to focus on what is right in front of you. Now hit that ball…

And hit it she does, much to her surprise. In an instant she is there, totally present in that moment, celebrating her small accomplishment. Her fear has been replaced almost instantaneously by elation and laughter.

The last line in the scene is:

Because the only cure for paranoia is to be here. Just as you are.

So be here, just as you are and focus on NOW

The magic of focusing on now – on what you can do now, on what you can control now -is that it gives you the power to shift your mood and your energy. When you focus only on what you can do NOW, right in this moment, you are in an instant choosing to shift your mood and energy from stress and anxiety to being present and feeling empowered.

In any moment you can lift your energy by:

• Focusing on what you can do NOW.
• Focusing on what you do have control over NOW.
• Focusing on the things you can do that bring you joy and inspiration NOW.
• Focusing on every little success you have no matter how small and celebrate it NOW.

Strategy Two – Focus on Gratitude

Andrea Conner, President of Athena International and I co-delivered a webinar recently called How to Lead Yourself in Crisis, hosted by Christine Bongard, Co-Founder and President of The Women in Technology Network.

Andrea recommends that an antidote for worry is to take on a practice of gratitude.

Even in the most difficult times there is something we can be grateful for. For example, having a roof over our heads, food on our table, feeling loved, having a loved one with us like a spouse or a pet to help us navigate our circumstances, or having technology that allows us to not only hear people, but to see them even when we can’t be there with them.

I’ve heard great stories of and have participated in virtual dinner parties and happy hours, reconnected with friends with whom I haven’t talked with in years, and have seen people going out of their way to connect with and lift the spirits of co-workers who are alone in their homes. I’ve witnessed educators who are working tirelessly to rapidly adapt to these unprecedented circumstances to create the best possible learning experience for their students. I’ve heard countless heroic and heartwarming stories of doctors and nurses who put themselves in harms way on a daily basis for all of us while going above and beyond even amidst there own fears and worries.

I am grateful for the acts of kindness and the acts of leadership I am witnessing on a daily basis that move me and inspire me and remind me of the best of who we are and who we can be. I choose to have faith in us, which leads me to the next strategy.

Strategy Three: Choose to Have Faith in Someone or Something

Choose to have faith in yourself – in your strengths and in your strength.

While my husband can’t do any work right now I have watched him shift his focus to doing everything he can to keep us safe in the face of this invisible enemy. His nickname is “Mr Clean” and his attention to detail and cleanliness are two strengths he has put into action to care for his family.

Choose to focus on your faith through spiritual practice.

Now is also a great time to focus on a spiritual practice, whether or not you follow a specific religious tradition, to connect your mind, body and spirit. For some that practice is yoga or meditation for which there are many apps and live online classes available. And while we can’t attend gatherings or faith based services there are fortunately countless ways we can connect and participate with our spiritual and faith-based communities virtually. For example, Mike Henry founded a non-profit called Follower of One that invites people to go on a Mission Trip from their workplace (for many now also your home!) to bring their faith to life in their everyday life and work.

Whatever your faith or spiritual practice may be, engaging with others in your spiritual communities can help you to feel connected to something bigger than you, which is especially helpful if you need to be reminded that you are not alone.

Choose to have faith in our future.

While the Coronavirus Pandemic has created unprecedented disruption and isolation in our lives, remember it is temporary. While there will indeed be lasting effects for all of us, some of which could be devastating for many in terms of loss of life as well as economic loss and uncertainty.

But as my friend Dr J Dunn, Founder of MyHappyGenes, reminds me, just being here means we have won the genetic lottery. We humans have evolved and survived as a species through countless threats to our very survival. We will survive this and if we choose to do so we will learn, grow and evolve in the process as individuals, as communities and as a world.

This is why I believe that maintaining your focus on a future you are creating, no matter what is happening at this moment, is an essential practice for leaders because you are the ones who will ensure we learn and grow from this.

Shifting from Worry to Hope

What gives me hope is to imagine a future in which we learn to be kinder to each other and to work together as countrymen/women and as global citizens.

But we will only be better off if we both imagine that better future, and then work tirelessly as individuals to make it so. That work on a better future for yourself, for your family and for your world can begin today from wherever you find yourself riding out this worldwide pandemic.

And remember…when you choose to act on an antidote for your worry and your fear, not only will you lift your own energy and spirits, you will also lift the energy and spirits of those around you. I call that leadership in action.

Consider that leaders raise the emotional energy of those around them. So go ahead and be a leader where you work and were you live at this moment in time, because we need your leadership right now more than ever.

NOTE: The WIT Network has generously made their private webinars available to the general public for the month of April 2020. If you would like to listen in on my webinar with Andrea Conner on How to Lead in Crisis